Letter from a Proud Canadian Citizen

 March 28, 2025

Dear President Trump

Thank you for your invitation for Canada join the USA. Unfortunately I must decline

and the feeling seems to be mutual amongst most of my fellow Canadians. I also

want to clear up some confusion. If my math is correct (That’s Canadian for I

checked the numbers on "Google" and know they are right.) the average size of a

USA State is 75,000 square miles and Canada is about 3,855,100 square miles.

That works out to Canada containing 51.4 states. The Americans I know are proud

people. I am not sure how they would feel to suddenly find 102, possibly 104 new

senators being Canadian.

The Americans I know are good people. We like each other, we are good

neighbors, but being married to each other would be a disaster. We wouldn’t get

married until you guaranteed universal free health care. We would expect you to

raise the National Minimum Wage above $7.25 and change your gun laws around

hand guns. We would make each other’s lives miserable.

While no two Canadians are the same, we tend to lean towards politeness and

understatement. This can be confusing to some, so I will give you some examples

with translations.

"We can discuss that at a later time" means "I don’t agree but don’t want upset you or

make you look bad in front of others.", it can also be translated as "Not a Snowball’s

Chance in Hell"

"Elbows up" means "We are not looking for a fight but if attacked we intend to inflict

the maximum damage to the attacker.", it can also be translated as "Over My Dead

Body"

I know we frustrate you, but it can’t be helped. We tend to be stubborn. From our

perspective, we have been through worse. You have unified us, we are willing to

suffer through a trade war if necessary. We will miss our trips to the USA, we will

miss the USA products we are now boycotting, but most of all we will miss the close

friendships and the feelings of mutual respect. I look forward to becoming allies

again, and want to send my warmest regards to all of the Americans who have

expressed their support for Canadians in these challenging times.

In closing, I want to thank you. Canadians, like Americans, are prone to fighting

amongst ourselves. Your actions have united us in a way we haven’t been united

since the Second World War. You have reminded us how much we love our country,

how important it is to us, and how strong we can be if we work together. You have

made Canada stronger, more determined, and more unified.

Sincerely,

Robin Barrett

Nova Scotia, Canada

Proud Canadian Citizen

CC: Canadian and USA politicians and media